boo ya

Are you watching Shark Week on a 52" HD tv?

Really? I am.


We are talking life size sharks and life size amputations bitches.

sparks

I just got a really shitty bag of wint-o-green lifesavers, I mean really bad. So...

I went to the website to complain. I hit up the FAQ section and I shit you not the first FAQ is:
Is an Orbitz gum wrapper edible?

Really? Is this really asked enough to make it to the FAQ list, let alone the top of it.


Guess what. The answer was no.


RANDOM UPDATE: I googled wint-o-green and this was the first picture found.

today is the longest humpday in history

yawn.

that's it, that's all i have to say.

fish pt. 2

I took this picture of him and held it up to his bowl and he freaked, worse than when you point at him. So i guess he doesn't want a mirror for his bowl.

He made a noise too. It was weird. No one believes me, but he did, I heard and watched him do it.

Now he's spitting out his food. Picky.



Should the combination of the noise and the not eating worry me?

fish

I am emotionally attached to a fish. How did that happen?

ODB and I are buds now. I changed his water today, and am going to buy him a rock tomorrow.

You should have seen me when I realized that I have no clue how to change a fish's water. I had to use my phone a friend and call Travis. He was like "You have responsibilities now, Sarah." So I answered "Yea, uh, do you want a beta?"

I have learned a few things about all this:
No matter how many times you rinse the gravel there will still be fish poo in it.
Every time he moves around quickly I think my drink is falling over or my phone is ringing. I will never learn. Actually, the day I do is the day I'll wear an iced tea.
ODB does not like to be pointed at. His little fins get to flapping and he darts across the bowl.
He also is not a fan of the phone ringing. But I told him to get over it.

you start laughing

MySpace Announcement

Tom
Latest Update:
Jul 18, 1:00 pm PDT

woah big mail problem! working to fix it right now. perhaps sending a comment instead of a message would be a wise idea right now. :)

Dang it. I have a message too...

LOVE (not to be confused with L.O.V.E.)

I love the days that I feel like listing. Well, today I love everything... and that's a long list.
Although, there are a couple of things I could do without, besides the obvious; war, famine, Bret Michaels, you know.

Sarah could do without:
Sandals Resorts Commercials.
Commercials that use the NFL song.
People tapping on ODB's glass.
Shirts that grow. Seriously, my bra is hanging out. I'm not that kind of secretary.

I'm going to go watch the Bud Light "swear jar" commercial now. I need a giggle.

who are you?

You know I love all of you. Collectively. Individually. I love you.

But some of you are freaking me out. Stop stalking my blog. Checking four or five times a day puts too much pressure on me to come up with funny things.

Don't forget, I know things about you... like your operating system and your screen resolution. Not sure how that helps me, but you've been warned.



I'm just kidding. What I really mean is;

Hello Spain, Philly, my faithful Aussie and you, one person who links from my myspace everyday!

talking to the walls

Every office has the guy who talks too loud on his cell phone.

My office has the guy who walks around talking to loud on his cell phone while breaking up with his girlfriend.

Damn, she's really missing out...


This has inspired fake email #2. When we get to three I'll start sharing them. They're kind of funny.

my radio

I gotta tell you. Every once in a while I kick myself for not giving things a chance. Lately it's new music artists. I still can't believe I was toasted before Todd Snider got on stage. I have one blury camera phone picture to remember the evening. dammit.

Anyway. Three words.

Matt the Electrician.

i'm too sexy

spiderman boxer briefs. sexy.

cold blooded

I bought a new friend.


This is O.D.B. Ol' Dirrty Beta

drunk in the saddle again

...or at the keyboard.

I am, from now on, setting Vista to block myspace between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am.

I feel like I am apologizing to you all a lot lately... And yet again, I am sorry.

re:probably best kept to myself

UPDATE:It's been called to my attention that i have in fact participated in a list item. I am sorry.

I am still a 14 yr old girl sometimes.

I haven't had a crush on anybody probably since I was 14, but I do now, and it's driving me insane.

I've decided to make a list of all the things 14 yr old girls do that I haven't done to make myself feel better... here goes nothing.

I do not practice his last name as mine. never have.
I do not play the same song over and over.
I have not picked out the names of our children.
I have not told my friend to tell his friend that I like him.
His name is not writen anywhere on the bathroom stalls. I don't think... I'll check later.
I didn't send him flowers anonymously at lunch period.
I don't talk about him in secret like he can't figure it out. oh shit...

save me, i'm sorry, take me away

I feel so bad.

I was getting ready this morning as usual right? Well, I completely forgot that Ethan had spent the night with us. I have this blowdryer...*shaking my head* that is almost broken and kind of sounds like a leafblower. My door opened and he walks in all sleepy-eyed and pouty "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" It was so sad. I made my apologies, but he didn't care. He just backed out of the room, shut the door, and went downstairs.

It's a cool feeling when a 3 yr old can make you feel like shit. Sorry buddy.


(and yes, it's a song title. Google it bitches.)

rock you like a hurricane

I have decided that for a while (a non-predetermined amount of time. I know you all went nuts when I stopped mentioning Travis everyday)I will title every blog with a song title.

That's not easy. I could do this periodically before, but when given boundaries I get writers block. (if you call this writing)

I chose this particular title because it has nothing to do with anything I've said.
I do rock you like a hurricane though...



UPDATE: Here is a bit of relevance for you. "Rock You" was my text message ringtone for the longest time. Well, today I found it's replacement. Check it out. Kitty wants candy.

really?

Is it really raining again?

Am I the only one who has had enough?

I just tried to google monsoon jokes, because I wanted to make one, but there aren't any. I can't be the only one who thinks there might be something funny about a monsoon.

i do that!

i need a friend

I just spent the afternoon alone swimming, laying out, listening to music. I either need to not have weekdays off, or I need a school age friend who's off for summer vacation. Preferably female, I don't want to go to jail.

more love more power

I love being cute.

I went to get tires put on my car, and it didn't take more than 35 minutes. And I didn't pay full price. I handed over my keys, grabbed a sandwich and they were done. They love me there.

THEN... the guy next door offered to pay me to take care of his pool so long as I wear my bathing suit to do so. I politely turned down that promising career move.
That's really only a couple steps up from working at Hooter's, isn't it?

You know, I'll fill you guys in on something... I'm really not that cute, and I'm a total dork, but you knew that.


And I used to be smart and stuff...

best birthday ev-r?

Quite possible. And we didn't really do a whole lot.

The only competition this birthday has is my 8th birthday, which i remember fondly. Although, you know, I was only 8, it could have been totally lame, and I just thought it was cool because I was lame.

We're going to go with that, and say 22 was the best.

GO Double Deuce!

"I love bitches, that's my shit!" That was for you, Brett Mouton.

evening

Evening is playing at Market Street Cinemark.

Wanna know how I know Evening is playing at Market Street Cinemark?

Large groups of middle-aged women.

Yep.

double-deuce

It's tomorrow!!! Woot!

That's me! And those are my birfday balloons!

I just wanted to remind you all that you are invited to my par-tay. Just email me. Or comment or whatever!

I just got a b-day present and a 7 page letter from my pen pal from middle school. How bad ass is that? You'll be proud to know that I actually wrote him back too, 5 pages of really uninteresting things about me! Don't you wish we were pen pals too?

I wish you could see my face right now. Then you'd get the true level of smart ass in my last statement.

a product of my generation i supose

I just spelled ludicrous "ludicris" in an email...

At least I'm keeping up with music genres I care nothing about. That's important.

i just wanted everyone to know

that I'm wearing really cute shoes today.


I also want you to know that that's a Herman Miller chair I'm sitting in. Meow.